Are you tired of beating yourself up all the time?
It’s exhausting, isn’t it? That constant feeling of “not enough” that drives you to perfectionism, endless striving, and eventual burnout.
Maybe you’ve tried to silence that critical inner voice, or fight against it – but that only seems to make it louder.
It’s like playing tug-of-war
and you’re the rope.
If you’re stuck in an endless power struggle with your self-criticism, you know that the harder you push, the harder it pushes back.
When you fight against yourself, at best you end up exhausted and at worst your spirit is crushed and you feel like crap.
What if you could be kinder to yourself?
Instead of battling your inner critic, imagine if you could transform it into your greatest source of inner wisdom.
When your true Self relieves your critical parts from the heavy burdens they’ve been carrying, these watchdogs are relieved to give up control and step into healthier roles as supportive, trusted partners.
Welcome!
My name is Mercedes
I’m an Inner Wisdom Guide
Have you ever cried for a week after getting a B on a midterm when you expected to get an A+?
Stayed up until 4am working on a project because you want it to be perfect, and then felt like a dumpster fire the next day because apparently sleep is a thing people need once in a while?
To have to do every task yourself because anyone else will do it wrong and the whole conference will suck and everyone will blame you and then you’ll be humiliated?
Do you ever feel frozen in inaction, afraid to start because you’re not convinced you’ve considered every possible contingency.?
My inner critic used to be a
subtle, manipulative jerk
I used to be a relentless perfectionist with impossible standards.
I was always failing to meet them. So I always felt like a failure.
I worked harder and harder. I strived and I achieved.
But the more I accomplished, the more afraid I was someone would find out how much I didn’t deserve it.
I hit a brick wall when I finished my PhD and couldn’t bear the thought of continuing in academia.
Even though I was good at it. Even though I enjoyed it. Even though it was the first place I halfway felt I belonged.
The pressure was too
much and I collapsed
Ironically, the same voice that used to drive me into the cliffs of insanity also drove me to the journey that brought me to the healthy place I’m in today.
I came into this work 10 years ago because I thought I was broken. Spoiler alert: I wasn’t and neither are you.
Although I didn’t need fixing, I did need some deep inner healing to get my inner critic to let go even a tiny little bit.
And then a little bit more.
And a little bit more.
Today I’m grateful for that part of me that kept on pushing.
Eight years and tens of thousands of dollars later, I now know what it’s like to forgive myself for totally screwing up where everyone can see; to feel embarrassed without wanting to crawl into a hole and die.
To stop working at 80% and say “good enough” (even when I secretly think it’s not).
To delegate tasks that I know others will “do wrong”—i.e. not how I would do them—and then allowing myself not to do them over again the moment they’re not looking.
I know how to recognize when my inner critic is creeping back in, and how to tend to her needs for reassurance and safety so that she can relax and let go of her reactivity.
My inner voice and I have transformed one another
She changed because I changed. I showed her that she doesn’t need to protect me anymore.
I showed her that I can nurture an inner sense of safety and worthiness that transcend my worldly accomplishments.
I learned to give myself the understanding and compassion I had needed when I was little, but which my emotionally immature parents had been unable to provide.
I learned to grow my capacity for discomfort, so I can be present with the anxiousness and remorse that still appear when I screw up.
I learned to set healthy boundaries by listening to my felt sense, getting in touch with my needs and letting them be valid even if I can’t get my way.
I learned to take constructive feedback not as criticism but as a gift; I even became hungry for it.
I learned to say “no, thank you” when people blame me for their feelings. (Ok, that’s a work in progress).
My inner critic has a new role:
my inner wisdom keeper
My inner wisdom keeper helps me align to my core values and stay connected to a deeper purpose in life.
She keeps me grounded in what really matters.
She still has high standards—she knows what great things I’m capable of and won’t let me sell myself short or settle for a second rate life.
She also brings caution and reflection that result from hard-won experience and the painful lessons I’ve learned in life.
Reclaim your self-compassion
Having travelled my own path from self-hate to self-love, I’m deeply passionate about helping you awaken your heart’s innate compassion and turn it towards yourself to soften the harsh inner voices that hold you back.
This is the path of the wounded healer – one who gives to others what they themselves most needed when they were lost and hurting
– Celeste Larsen
What does working with me look and feel like?
My role is supporting you to nurture your relationship to yourself—one grounded in understanding, caring, and wholeness.
I orient from a profound truth that your soul already knows wholeness and is patiently waiting for you to awaken to its fuller expression.
The work combines three aspects of holistic healing to support safety, self-awareness, and inner harmony:
- Relatefulness: a relational mindfulness practice that brings presence and awareness into the space arising within and between people.
- Nervous system regulation: practical tools rooted in Polyvagal Theory that help you balance your body’s stress responses, fostering safety and resilience.
- Focusing: an embodied practice helps you access the “felt sense” of your struggle—a subtle, pre-verbal bodily awareness of a situation or issue.
Together, these practices together create a supportive container where you can gently unravel the layers of self-criticism and reconnect with your innate worth.
Are you ready to embody
your true nature?
Healing should feel empowering, not distressing
You are always in control of your journey. As a trauma-informed practitioner, I honour your pace.
Trusting your inner guiding wisdom, we’ll stay within your window of resilience to explore only what you’re ready to experience.
The depth of our work reflects your sense of safety. There is no value in pushing yourself to the point of overwhelm.
We’ll meet your edges with patience and compassion as you build your capacity to be with greater emotional discomfort.
Here be dragons!
We begin with boundaries
Inner critic work is powerful and not for the faint of heart. It requires self-awareness and an ability to say “Not right now, thank you.”
If seeing healthy boundaries is sometime you struggle with, then that’s where our with together begins.
The only way to fully embody your “yes” is to fully claim your “no”.
Fully owned boundaries leave no space for others to encroach.
Indeed, taking care of yourself is a great way to soothe the inner critic – which, after all, has just been trying to keep you safe.
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
While there is no shortage of self-help books and videos offering exercises and affirmations to build self-love, working with your inner critic may touch on tender wounds.
When shame is in the room, the simple act of being compassionately witnessed—safe from criticism—can be tremendously healing.
Add in the support of an experienced and compassionate guide and you become unstoppable!
I wouldn’t be where I am today without the love and support of those who guided me through these same difficult places.
While your guide doesn’t have to be me, I implore you to find someone you feel safe and comfortable with before doing this deep inner work.
Please don’t go at it alone!
Trauma & Therapy (it has to be said)
Inner critic work can get intense.
If you have a history of severe trauma that still causes you distress on a regular basis, this work may not be what you need right now.
I am not a psychologist, therapist, or counsellor.
And thank goodness, because clinicians aren’t for everyone!
Some people find therapeutic hierarchy to be intimidating, or they’re wary of being pathologized, or they’ve had bad experiences with therapy in the past.
Your first (and last) homework assignment is to follow your gut and do what feels right for you. (That one’s on the house!)
Always trust yourself.
Only you can know
what you truly need.
My broom closet
I orient from a perspective of universal wholeness and oneness. While I am deeply spiritual, I never impose my woo woo beliefs on anyone. That said, I love to exchange stories of otherworldly encounters.
I also have a PhD in Physics, so I’m paradoxically grounded in rational, evidence-based practice.
I’m like a Mystical Scientist… I’m a conundrum, really.
My healing work is holistic and relational in nature. While I’ve trained extensively in alternative healing modalities, I work with you as two wibbly-wobbly humans exploring a landscape of mutual discovery.
Shucks, we might get stuck in the mud sometimes, spinning our tires and cursing the shortcut we heard about from that sketchy guy at the gas station.
Like I said, I’m Wobbly-wobbly too.
My accomplishment isn’t that I ever stopped having faults. It’s that I learned to love myself even though I’m faulty and imperfect.
And my faith in the divine perfection of every moment and the nonexistence of accidents has never failed me yet.
Other Offerings
I work directly with many downstream effects of inner criticism: control, shame, and unworthiness, which manifest as:
- Addiction (specifically compulsive food behaviors)
- Weak or Toxic Boundaries
- Hyper Control Issues
- People Pleasing
- Codependency
- Isolation & Loneliness
- Perfectionism
- Procrastination